The Forgiveness Project

I read and reviewed Desmond Tutu's book on the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa over 10 years ago, and he kindly provided a statement for a conference we arranged on forgiveness. This was around the same time that the Forgiveness Project was getting going with an exhibition called 'The F Word' drawing on many of the moving stories reproduced in this remarkable and highly acclaimed collection where we hear the voices of both perpetrators and victims, sometimes even in the same chapter. Poignantly, the book is subtitled 'stories for a vengeful age' and readers will find their understanding of forgiveness immeasurably enhanced and indeed complexified beyond black-and-white thinking. A crucial point about the project is that it does not so much promote as explore forgiveness in its many dimensions, eschewing certainty and self-righteousness. Each story is different, even if common themes emerge, such as the liberation felt by those who manage to forgive and the transformative power of encounters within a framework of restorative justice. Some people forgive, while others close to them regard this as a betrayal, which is absolutely within their rights. A reference to Lord Tebbit illustrates this, but the editor clarifies that she seeks to understand and explain, but never to justify or condone.

Some people come to a feeling of empathy, realising the forces or indeed abuse that may have driven someone to commit an unspeakable act. As Solzhenitsyn observed, the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being, and this recognition of common humanity is a hugely important feature. The journey is often excruciating and positions sometimes irreconcilable, but there is always inner work that can be done and which may lead to a breakthrough. Just imagining some of the scenes described is chilling, and one can only admire the courage and fortitude of those who come through and out the other side on a healing journey. Perhaps the Einstein/Russell message from the 1950s is relevant here: remember your humanity and forget the rest. And beware of certainty, especially when you believe you have the truth. The book had a similar effect on me to reading a collection of letters from prison by Germans resisting Hitler, Dying we Live – out of suffering can come hope and a renewed faith in a more humane future.