Out of The Woods

Subtitled 'a guide to life for men beyond 50', this is an invaluable handbook for navigating the second half of life. With Max Mackay-James and others, Alan has been active in developing a network for men beyond 50, with regular updates and events. He has been a successful entrepreneur who has developed into an expert on sustainable living and runs a 70-acre conservation woodland centre. He is very honest about his own life story, which creates an authentic tone in the book and enables readers to identify with him in an empathic fashion, especially with his direct and humorous style. The main premise of the book is that we have to reinvent ourselves in middle age, and that this may be brought about by various shipwrecks including a loss of job or a breakdown of marriage or health. This sets us off on the hero's journey and challenges us to handle loss and endings.

Themes covered include relationships, work and money, health, family dynamics, addictions and other psychological conditions, death and dying, friends and communities, sex and giving back as an elder. Whatever happens, there can be a gift in the shipwreck, as many facing death and deep challenges will attest. Marriages have to be redefined and renewed as children leave the nest, and it can be particularly challenging for men to achieve the degree of intimacy that women require in a partnership. Alan gives some wise guidance in this respect, and recommends the best resources for further reading. A chapter on dreams and dawns brings in the perspective of the soul, with the remark that many of us have hardly begun on the soul's hopes for this life: we are not fully within the spiritual life and we fear intimacy and surrender both to the divine and the feminine. Life is not about control but rather about entrusting ourselves to a greater power. We are also encouraged to renew our vision and cultivate our friendships. This is a wise and compassionate book which I would recommend to any man over 50. Some chapters will be more resonant than others, but the overall effect makes one more conscious of the process of life.