No Endings, Only Beginnings

Many readers will be familiar with earlier books by Bernie Siegel such as Love, Medicine and Miracles, and this latest one is subtitled 'a doctor's notes on living, loving, and learning who you are' written in the aftermath of the death of his wife Bobbie after 63 years of marriage. The chapter headings are indicative: begin your quest for truth, live authentically, be an agent of change, seek the creator everywhere, just love, explore the mysteries, share your story, understand that endings are always beginnings. Crises in our lives can lead us to ask the big questions, and for physicians suffering and pain are present in their patients. The book contains many instructive lessons from such encounters that convey pivotal insights to the reader. One story relates an elderly resident confined to a wheelchair who asked the nurse if she thought God really forgives you for everything – even that she had stolen and sold her parents' silver so she could afford to get married – and the nurse told her that God would forgive her. The next morning, the nurse discovered that the woman had come out of her room and walked the length of the hall with no assistance, put her teeth and Bible on the nurse's desk, saying that she would not need these anymore, after which she went back to her room, lay down and died.

Synchronicities and intuitive prompts can occur when we are open to life, while humour can release a lot of tension. One of Bernie's children did not want to leave home, so one day they dismantled his bed while he was out, and of course they were all waiting for a reaction when he went to bed. Not a peep, but the next morning at the breakfast table he said, 'Thanks, my back feels a lot better now' and they all had a good laugh. For Bernie, the reason we are here is the differences we can make and the care that we show, but this also entails caring for and forgiving ourselves. He reminds us that health is our natural state, but we also need to share our wounds and help each other heal. Death is also part of the natural order representing a new beginning. 'Life is a series of choices, it is not about fighting death; it is about the relationships, humour, joy and vitality' – living and loving fully in the moment. The final quote is from Gandhi. Here is an extract: 'in the midst of death, life persists; in the midst of untruth, truth persists; in the midst of darkness, light persists. Hence I gather that God is Life, Truth, Light. He is Love. He is the supreme Good.' Inspiring words in our troubled times.