Lessons for the Living

Knowing we will die, how should we live? This question is at the heart of this remarkable narrative by an emeritus professor who was himself diagnosed with prostate cancer five years ago. He faced his own fears by enrolling as a hospice volunteer to spend time with the terminally ill. The chapters recount the poignant encounters and deep relationships with dying people, in the course of which he learns more about life and himself than he has in his previous 60 years. With every encounter, his understanding of life is changed, and he homes in on the central existential themes of forgiveness, letting go, giving, compassion and hope. All this involves unresolved relationships, unfulfilled dreams and regrets, which can and must be resolved before death. The book leads up to the final chapter describing the death of his brother-in-law, but it also represents a preparation for his family for his own death. He likens his cancer to a powerful paint remover peeling back the layers of his life history, represented as a building, 'revealing an architectural wonder in need of restoration.' In this respect, his friends in the hospice were the contractors. The final message is one of compassion and service. As the book correctly states, this is not about a lesson in dying, but rather lessons in learning how to live. A moving and hugely significant book.