Knowing and Growing

Alan McLean is a psychologist who has developed interesting and important tools for developing ourselves and others, which he summarises in this insightful and practical guide. The most important themes are the way we navigate live through emotions and the priority of identity over personality, which is discussed in some detail. The author argues that our identity shapes how we feel about ourselves and is the key to personal growth, while personality is a vehicle. The book explains how to balance meeting our own needs with those of others, and explores various personal styles and their implications. He makes an important distinction between personal autonomy characterised by making our mark, and the shared autonomy of being part of things, summarising this in what he calls the ring of preferences; indeed, there are many helpful diagrams throughout the book. Another interesting theme is styles of influence, balancing support with challenge. The chapter on growing insight defines personal insight as understanding ourselves within our relationships and knowing how others see us - he gives various tips for developing this as well as exploring our identity. Alan distils a lifetime of reflection and practice into this guide, which makes it essential reading for anyone interested in personal and professional development.