How to be a Friend

Originally written in 44 BC, the advice in this book is as timely as ever, perhaps even more so in view of the changing nature of friendship to include the online dimension. We are advised to choose our friends with care, to make new friends but keep the old, and that without friends, life is not worth living - friendship is a necessity of life. I like to remember the advice of Samuel Johnson who said that we should keep our friendships in constant repair. The busyness of modern life makes this all the more relevant. Cicero reminds us never to ask a friend do anything shameful and never to do anything shameful if asked. However, we should be able to give and receive criticism in a gracious manner. He observes that true friendships are rare among those holding political office and takes the view that we should love after we have judged rather than judging after we have loved. One of the last sections – 102 – reflects: 'since human affairs are fragile and fleeting, we should always be seeking someone to love and be loved by in return. For if affection and goodwill disappear from life, so does all joy.'