Navigating the Terrain of Childhood

Subtitled 'a guidebook for meaningful parenting and heartfelt discipline', this is a book which every parent will want to read and reflect on. All parents know that the path of development contains both precious moments and difficult situations, challenges that test us to the limit, so that, as one of the chapters puts it, parenting can be seen as a path of inner development. The author uses the metaphor of a journey across America to describe the various phases and stages of child development. Parents will naturally look at the chapters applying particularly to the ages of their own children, even adult. But reading the book through enables one to gain a better understanding of the journey as a whole and to be wary of overcompensating for the methods of our parents; hence the emphasis on heartfelt discipline. An intriguing section is headed 'the complaint department' when children begin to complain about various family obligations, partly as a way of beginning to assert their independence. If there is bonding, there is also letting go, which is the other half of love. I was struck by the author's advice that two key ingredients of raising healthy teenagers are purposeful, challenging activities and meaningful contact with adults in situations of responsibility. This makes it more likely that teenagers will feel good about themselves, and we will feel good about them.