Dying to be Free

This unusual and moving memoir recounts the transformative journey of the author, whose father was a trainee Catholic priest at the time of her birth. He imposed secretive terms on her mother, which reflected the standard practice at the time and set up a huge tension in her life, especially during adolescence. This culminates in a serious accident leading to a near death experience and a different perspective on her life journey, as well as an experience of love transcending the rejection she felt. Even when they did meet, she felt no real connection with her father and experienced a sense of toxic shame. Her NDE gave her a deeper sense of identity and had a similar effect to the experience of Anita Moorjani (the title of this book is a variation on her title). Later, she has a vision warning her of the serious health condition of her mother. The message of his book, like so many in this field, is the existence and implications of an all-encompassing, accepting, unconditional love of which we are worthy. I learned of the existence of an organisation called Coping, which represents the interests of children of Catholic priests – it was an enormous relief for Hannah to find others in her situation. She concludes that the structure of the Catholic church needs to transform, because enforced secrecy is unhealthy for children of priests. It is a poignant and thought-provoking account.