Other than Mother

The author of this book about choosing childlessness with life in mind is both a therapist and Buddhist nun. The discussion is divided into three parts, first the background of the worldly winds of pleasure and pain, loss and gain, fame and infamy, praise and blame, which play a prominent role in forming our identity and expectations – in the case of women this includes the powerful role model and status of the mother. Increasing numbers of women are now choosing consciously not to have children in spite of these pressures, many of which come from the family and our ideas about normality. The second part focuses on the decision-making process, drawing on the author's own experience and thinking around the issue. These will reflect the thoughts of any women seriously considering the question, including potential regret. This is addressed more fully in the third part about living with the decision and making sure that any void is filled by giving birth to projects in the time that would otherwise have been devoted to raising children. The decision-making process can ebb and flow, but each possibility represents a new beginning – in her own case the aspiration to participate in the calling of the bodhisattva. A sensitive, enlightening and compassionate book.